The shape of my dream is…

“Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.” – Oscar Wilde

 

“Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die life is a broken-winged bird, that cannot fly.”   – Langston Hughes

 

“I dream my painting and I paint my dream.”   – Vincent van Gogh

 

*

 

The shape of my dream is…

The only constant

Change

Dreaming is

Catching mercury

In my hands

Hanging on to each

Particle

Dreams are like

Time

Suspended vapor

Fluid that rushes forth

Pretends to stand still

Carrying me where

I know not

Chagall-esque

Silhouette of a dream

Ever moving – cloudlike

Le masque

Summons potential

To sleep – perchance

Another dimension

Dreaming

Carnaval de la vie

*

Bisous,

Léa

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Exam Questions For The Next World

leamuse:

Tony gives us an entrance exam for The Next World. Brilliant!

Originally posted on Dark Matter:

Originally posted 7/12/2013.  

Section One:

Explain intersectionality
as it relates to
systemic oppression.
Include in your essay
the following terms:

blood dugout. 
pitted bone.
rape shop.
sharpened stone.


Section Two:

If you are assigned 
the role of scapegoat,
how will you survive
your turn in the wilderness?

Show your work.


Section Three:

What five words
ought to be erased or respelled
in order to lift their magic?  
Defend your choices

without attacking others.


Section Four:

Define a process
for removing
the history
in your own eye.

Section Five:

Will there be any room for any mercy
in the next world
that has not already been shown
in the present one?

Discuss.  

 

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No – only pity in the end

“…You don’t have to wait for someone to treat you bad repeatedly. All it takes is once, and if they get away with it that once, if they know they can treat you like that, then it sets the pattern for the future.”   – Anonymous

 

“History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.”   – Maya Angelou

 

 

 

No – only pity in the end

The toaster doesn’t

Produce faster

Because you are in

A hurry

No

Turning up the

Volume of your

Diatribes will not

Improve the outcome

No

The bruises never showed

You took great care they wouldn’t

Head and back your targets

No, your story has

Carried you thus far

Has covered up the tracks

At least nobody asked

Questions

Curiosity – my fatal flaw

Truths you never uttered

No

A little girl

Was no match for your

Rage

And no one ever got that close

No

You didn’t win

I escaped – I survived

The cracks in your amour

Are widening but nobody cares

No

You continue to strike out – yet

I am out of reach

Regardless, I am free

Many scars won’t heal – but

I’ve chosen Joy

No

There is no hatred

That is your disease

The only feeling

I have for you

Pity

 

*

Bisous,

Léa

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Intelligence Divine

“Love is three quarters curiosity.”   – Giacomo Casanova

 

“Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.”   –  James Stephens

 

*

Intelligence Divine

An old adage points the finger

Laying blame like a heavy

Tapestry – perhaps a cover-up?

The cat was not killed

By curiosity

It was curiosity

That set the cat free

Set it on the path

Where secrets lie

Skeletons

Are hidden

Curiosity

Leads it to that

Less traveled path

For those who have the

Courage – courage to find

Trésors caches de la vie

Le Chat

Worshipped in

Ancient Egypt

Curiosité

A mark of intelligence

*

Bisous,

Léa

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Loss for words…

“Trust him not with your secrets, who, when left alone in your room, turns over your papers.”

-   Johann Kaspar Lavater

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

-   Martin Luther King, Jr.

*

Loss for words

As a small girl

I had a passionate

Love affair

With paper

And pencils

But most of all

With words

Every chance I had

I would finger the smooth

Crisp pages

I marveled as the

Pencil raced, danced, glided

Or stomped

Across the sheet

All of the things

That couldn’t

Be said

Would magically appear

Wanting to be heard

Testimony in the court

Of childhood

Aching to bear witness

To all violations

Of one small girl

But

The judge and jury

Routinely

Purged this small girls room

For any trace

Of incriminating evidence

Verdicts handed down

Fast, furious and ever so harsh

Must make an example

Cease and desist

 Trying to hide my words

Lifting the blue and tan

Checked tile cover

Of the fireplace ash bin

Never used –

Maybe it would be safe

Would guard my secrets

Would reveal dark truths

After I was gone

Censorship ran rampant

And the stakes escalated

Until the words

Turned mute

-

Just prior to turning forty

A crack – nearly indistinguishable

In the wall

Between me and my words

The decades of mounting pressure

And erosion from neglect

An increasing force

That would be

Reckoned with – at times

The words would be shelved

After all they

Weren’t important

Only childish ramblings

That must be silenced

The little girl survived

And my words

Illuminate

This  journey

Deal

With

It!

*

Bisous,

Léa

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Impudence to the nth degree

Instead of the usual quote, I give you a list to ponder – Invisible Disabilities:

Back Injury, Brain Injury, Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, Heart Condition, Muscular Disorders, Neurological Disorders, Seizure Disorders, Spinal Disorders, Bone Disorders, Chronic Injuries, Organ Transplant, Oxygen Impairment, Difficult Pregnancy, Prosthetic, Surgery and several others.

*

Impudence to the nth degree (For Carly Jay and too many others)

*

Pulling into the parking lot

Of the local market

Rushed as oft happens

A young woman parked

A spot reserved for handicapped

 *

Indignant you drive in to another spot

Why must you; hipper, prettier, older

Hurried and harried walk so far?

I wouldn’t – who does she think she is?

A spot reserved for handicapped

 *

We cannot see her scars

There are no signs alerting us

To the fragile lungs

The crazy quilt torso

A spot reserved for handicapped

 *

Self-righteousness and indignation

Spill over when you glance her way

Usually smiling – a grimace shoots

Her way, your eyes like arrows

To that spot reserved for handicap

 *

Assuming can handicap

Well hidden – discrimination

On the shaky grounds of assumption

Aggression, exclusion are the daggers

Targeting those with invisible handicap

 *

Many disabilities remain shrouded

Independence a fragile line

That spot is reserved for handicap

 *

Bisous,

Léa

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The invisibility of illness

leamuse:

Please meet Carly Jay. She is the most courageous young woman I know. She doesn’t mince words and has something important to say, always!

Originally posted on bruises you can touch:

Cystic Fibrosis is an often invisible dis-ease. Because my body is working as it should be right now, I’m not underweight as I was pre-transplant. Weighing 38kg was certainly not invisible, and it came with stares and whispers of anorexia and bulimia. I know people who suffer from eating disorders and would never say, ‘if only it was that simple.’ Because it’s not. It never is.

That’s not to say my body is free from the ravages of C.F. Even after transplant, I STILL have C.F. There is no cure. I’m buying time – coming up sixteen years in August, and I’m so bone achingly grateful for my donor and her family. We all have scars. Some are visible; others are seemingly silent and buried like a restless river before the bank bursts.

I am a quilt. My upper chest is a patchwork of scars from CV lines, port-a-caths, chest drains, my transplant…

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