precipice – let the memoirs commence

“All the fear has left me. I’m not frightened anymore. It’s my heart that pounds beneath my chest, it’s my mouth that pushes out this breath and if I shed a tear I won’t cage it. I won’t fear love and if I feel rage I won’t deny it. I won’t fear love.”   –  Sarah McLachlan

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”   –  Maya Angelou

“Though silence is not necessarily an admission, it is not a denial either.”   –  Marcus Tullius Cicero 

“God may be in the details, but the goddess is in the questions. Once we begin to ask them, there’s no turning back.”   –   Gloria Steinem

*

precipice – let the memoirs commence

witness

on the edge

posed for the plunge

knowing the horrors

lurking in wait

my purpose far from benevolent

the past etched in stone

imbedded in scar tissue and bone

trails of crumbs strewn along

neural pathways

certain sounds and smells

like fingernails dragged across the chalkboard

like a battering ram – I shall

break down doors

dragging ghosts and skeletons

from hiding

those who hid from reality

those quashed for what they knew

i shall warm their bones

giving them, at last, a voice

writing it down

testimony

silence and terror

an arsenal generations old

sins of fathers

sins of mothers

this is not a trial

just an airing

of long entombed

evidence

no declarations in anger

a survivor’s memoir

one who is guilty

breaking the silence

bisous,

léa

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About Léa

A wanderer who has found home and herself in the South of France.
This entry was posted in Childhood, Commentary, Communication, Life and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to precipice – let the memoirs commence

  1. Gede Prama says:

    thank you for sharing your friends!

  2. Yes, yes, and YES! You go, girl! (…my teeth are still hurting from the “fingernails drawn across the chalkboard”)

    • leamuse says:

      Merci beaucoup! Thank you so much Cynthia! I’m so glad Christine sent me to your blog.
      About what I am writing, fingernails on a chalk board would be a symphony in comparison… too long silent.

  3. beckarooney says:

    Wow I felt this!! Powerful and emotive, when I read your work it feels like I am living it myself. Sensational Lea! 😀 x

    • leamuse says:

      Oh Cindy, that is very generous. It may just be for myself but at least it will be for me and that is enough. I don’t have any pretension to publish but one day at a time…

  4. Widow Beach says:

    I am on my feet applauding wildly, tears ready to pour down.

  5. Ive been tying to comment on this and theyve just “gone with the wind”!! Now I cant remember what I said but suffice to say this post says courage to me! Im so pleased for you that the process of the memoir has brought you to the precipice. Yes, let it begin and I truly hope it is a freeing experience or you and, of ourse the quotes are great!

    Love and hugs
    xxx.

    • leamuse says:

      Christine, if it is going to happen, I believe it is now. I’ve never been this close. In fact, I never seriously considered committing it all to paper. While it is not a pleasant place to revisit, any new revelations are not scary. Like the working title, they are pieces to a puzzle. I have written a few small pieces and particularly poems that dealt with some of it and they were indeed cathartic. So much can be found on the page. I think of a quote I fell in love with the first time I saw it.
      “I never know what I think until I read what I’ve said.” – E.M. Forrester
      That little quote spoke volumes for me.

      bisous et calins,

      léa xxx

  6. Eileen says:

    Poets are prophets. They can speak things they don’t know yet. ( Heard this in a Writing as Spiritual Practice workshop, not sure of the source.)

    ……they just bleed onto the page………….WOW!

    What a gift you have and I suspect it grew from the very experiences you are bringing into the light……..what shatters us, opens us to the Spirit within.

    The Spirit definitely speaks through you ……………

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