Once burned…

“Fake people have an image to maintain. Real people just don’t care.”                        –     Author unknown

“We never lose friends. We simply learn who the real ones are.”  – Author unknown

 

“False friendship, like the ivy, decays and ruins the walls it embraces; but true friendship gives new life and animation to the object it supports.”  – Richard Burton

*

Once burned…

 

You flash a grin

My way

I feel my spine

Relax

Slipping farther

From caution I

Slide under your spell

Memory dishes up

In your favor

I feel confidence

Abandon me

As you close in

That split second

Your head turns

Calculating your options

Gratefully my senses return

Your attentions return

In a flash

Yet a veil has fallen

Your strengths fade to frailties

Sliding irretrievably from

Possibility

The seas are rich

I am patient

And deep

Your shallow waters

Cannot sustain me

*

Bisous,

Léa

The Repossession of America

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”  – Albert Einstein

“Humour is a rubber sword – it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.”  – Mary Hirsch

 

While I do realize that the following is a bit out-dated and perhaps Britain has issues of its own at the present… Yet I couldn’t resist pulling this letter out of the files, dusting it off and sharing it. My chapeau is off to John Cleese for the medicine (laughter) he dispenses when we need it most, like now! 

Today, 14 July is Fête Nationale du 14 juillet (France). Outside of France, this is frequently referred to as Bastile Day. It is not Bastile day but it does mark the turning point of the French Revolution in 1789. The champagne and the wine will flow, music, and so much more. I’ve no doubt that each and every village will create a way to celebrate safely in this time of Covid-19. 

 

Britain is Repossessing the U.S.A.

A message from John Cleese  (British comedian)

To:  The  citizens of the United States of America:

 

In view of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign  Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown (now Boris Johnson), will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.

A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced  with immediate effect:

You should look up ‘revocation’ in the Oxford English  Dictionary.

  1. Then look up aluminum, and check the pronunciation guide.  You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
  2. The letter ‘U’  will be reinstated in words such as ‘favour’ and ‘neighbour.’  Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix -ize will be replaced by the suffix  -ise.

Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels  (look up ‘vocabulary’).

  1. Using the same 27 words interspersed with filler noises such as  ‘like’ and ‘you know’ is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.

There is no such thing as US English.  We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.  The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter ‘u’ and the elimination of -ize.  You will relearn your original national anthem, God Save the Queen.

  1. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
  2. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists.  The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not adult enough to be independent.

Guns should only be handled by adults.  If you’re not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun.

  1. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler.  A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
  2. All American cars are hereby banned.  They are crap and this is for your own good.  When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

Holden Monaros are also approved.

  1. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect.  At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humor.
  2. The Former USA  will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) – roughly $6/US gallon.  Get used to it.
  3. You will learn to make real chips.  Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps.  Real chips are thick-cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
  4. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all.  Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer.  They are also part of the British Commonwealth – see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
  5. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys.  Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one’s ears removed with a cheese grater.
  6. You will cease playing American football.  There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer.  Those of you brave enough will, in time,  be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).  Don’t try Rugby –  the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you like they regularly thrash us.
  7. Further, you will stop playing baseball.  It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of  America.  Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable.  You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
  8. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.
  9. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s  Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due  (backdated to  1776).
  10. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, never mugs, with high-quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in season.

God save the Queen.

John  Cleese

Thank you John Cleese for offering the only remedy currently available for what ails millions of people (Laughter is still the best medicine.)

Bisous,

Léa

Danny the Dog Changes the Course of History #4th-of-July🗽#SecondCivilWarLetters #humor

Great Barb, next time let’s take off the gloves! Seriously excellent and I hope you will pop by here on July 14th and hopefully have a laugh.

Barb Taub

[NOTE from Barb: With this year’s Fourth of July approaching, I know I’m not the only one conflicted about the holiday. Like so many others, I’m facing the reality of how far we still have to go just to approach being the country so many of us already thought we were. But I’m also in awe of the Americans who took to the streets to protest the ways our country has fallen so short of our self-image. At the same time the protesters are affirming their belief that we could and should and need to become that country, with “liberty and justice for all” and not just for all who have the right skin color, gender, and religion. So I’m wishing my readers more than fireworks and a barbeque this year. I wish you the country we were always supposed to be. That really would be a Fourth of…

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Scattering

“In one of those stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing, when you look at the sky at night. And when your sorrow is comforted (time soothes all sorrows) you will be content that you have known me. You will always be my friend…I shall not leave you.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

“Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.”
– W. Clement Stone

“Here is my secret. It’s quite simple: One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

Scattering

Every new

Moon

I curl up

In my

Curvaceous

Crescent

Encircled

By each

Starry night

Celestial dreams

Await me

There is no man

Here

I control

The ebb

And flow

Of the

Seas

I watch

Over your

Attempts

To comprehend

Me

To encapsulate

Into ode

Or song

It is difficult

When you

Haven’t

The language

Of the

Universe

Bemused

My laughter

Scatters

Stardust

Bisous,

Léa

Not guilty

Originally posted March 2012

“No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.”
—George Bernard Shaw

“Never eat more than you can lift.”
—Miss Piggy

*

Not guilty

Today I ordered rhubarb pie

With my iced coffee

As its tartness exploded

Into my mouth sending lazy taste buds

Waves of pleasure

I noted that this pie

Was not accompanied

By the usual helping

Of guilt

Guilt for indulging

In this orgy of calories

Guilt that I will not be very hungry

When my son takes me out for dinner

In four hours – guilt

That the needle -on the bathroom scale

May have to climb a little higher

As my fingers traced

A path of flakey golden crumbs

And sticky red juice

I realized that this time

There was no attempt

To justify the decision

To indulge, to rationalize

Because it’s my birthday I’m entitled

No bargaining of what I

Would forgo?

To atone

I simply enjoyed every last bite

And if I weren’t’ so full

I would get another piece -perhaps

Or – make that to go

*

Bisous,

Léa

Cadeau de la clé / Gift of the key

Thank you Christine over at http://journeyintopoetry.wordpress.com for inspiring this post. Stop in and meet Christine if you are not already following her. Read and be inspired as I am.

*

“We shouldn’t teach great books; we should teach a love of reading.”   – B.F. Skinner

 

“To read is to fly: it is to soar to a point of vantage which gives a view over wide terrains of history, human variety, ideas, shared experience and the fruits of many inquiries.”   – A.C. Grayling

 

“Reading takes us away from home, but more important, it finds homes for us everywhere.”   – Hazel Rochman

 

 

Cadeau de la clé / Gift of the key

 

Children

Intrinsically curious

Insatiable in their

Hunger

Starving to understand

Insatiable curiosity

The mystery about them

This world, people

How things work?

Why they do not work?

What is to become of them?

How do they fit in?

Or not?

 

Give them fuel to feed

The fires of inquisitiveness

Open the door to literature,

History, science, poetry

And all the world of print

Give them the tools

To learn, to explore so that they

One day they can be more

Read to them teach them

Give them the key

Entice them to unlock each

Mystery that beckons and the

Gift that they are never

Alone

 

*

Bisous,

 

Léa

Damned!

“My Alma mater was books, a good library… I could spend the rest of my life reading, just satisfying my curiosity.”   – Malcolm X

 

“We shouldn’t teach great books; we should teach a love of reading.”    –  B. F. Skinner

 

“You’re never too old, too wacky, too wild, to pick up a book and read to a child.”   – Dr. Seuss

 

Damned!

 

Damned!

Again and again

You introduce me

To another author

I haven’t read before

Before now

Before this discovery

Something in a title

Or description

Catches my eye

Inflames my curiosity

And the world

Of another author

Is opened to me

Perhaps this one

Will hook me

And more of

Their work

Lines my

Overcrowded shelves

Can’t you hear them groan

DEMANDING

To be read?

Piled so high they

LEAN over edges

Hunger for more

Les livres

Well loved stories

Searching for what else

The author has written

Words, stories, poems

I never could keep

This addiction secret

Hooked so young

A passion often key

In forming new friendships

Yes, that is me

I am damned

Damned to a life

Of books

Merci beaucoup!

*

Bisous

Léa

Fire & ice

 

This was originally posted 21 December 2011.

“A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.”

– Mae West

*

Fire & ice

Winter

It’s cold

Like your touch

And I

Am a creature

Of the heat

I

Delight in the taunting

Massage

Of the sun’s rays

They force me

Into

Complete submission

Fire Its The power

And it burns

Deep inside me

Beware

Your daggers

Of ice

Cannot penetrate me

I will laugh

As you melt

Fire & ice

*

Bisous,

Léa

Once burned…

“Fake people have an image to maintain. Real people just don’t care.”  

–     Author unknown

*

Once burned

You flash a grin

My way

I feel my spine

Relax

Slipping farther

From caution I

Slide under your spell

Memory dishes up

In your favor

I feel confidence

Abandon me

As you close in

That split second

Your head turns

Calculating your options

Gratefully my senses return

Your attentions return

In a flash

Yet a veil has fallen

Your strengths fade to frailty

Sliding irretrievably from

Possibility

The seas are rich

I am patient

And deep

Your shallow waters

Cannot sustain me

*

Bisous,

Léa

Impudence to the nth degree

Instead of the usual quote, I give you a list to ponder – Invisible Disabilities:

Back Injury, Brain Injury, Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, Heart Condition, Muscular Disorders, Neurological Disorders, Seizure Disorders, Spinal Disorders, Bone Disorders, Chronic Injuries, Organ Transplant, Oxygen Impairment, Difficult Pregnancy, Prosthetic, Surgery and several others.

*

Impudence to the nth degree (For Carly Jay and too many others)

*

Pulling into the parking lot

Of the local market

Rushed as oft happens

A young woman parked

A spot reserved for handicapped

 *

Indignant you drive in to another spot

Why must you; hipper, prettier, older

Hurried and harried walk so far?

I wouldn’t – who does she think she is?

A spot reserved for handicapped

 *

We cannot see her scars

There are no signs alerting us

To the fragile lungs

The crazy quilt torso

A spot reserved for handicapped

 *

Self-righteousness and indignation

Spill over when you glance her way

Usually smiling – a grimace shoots

Her way, your eyes like arrows

To that spot reserved for handicap

 *

Assuming can handicap

Well hidden – discrimination

On the shaky grounds of assumption

Aggression, exclusion are the daggers

Targeting those with invisible handicap

 *

Many disabilities remain shrouded

Independence a fragile line

That spot is reserved for handicap

 *

Bisous,

Léa